Haddie Ann Kreider
Born Today!
WORTH IT ALL
First there was the long awaited joy
discovering
That you were a mere fetal speck.
Months of pampered excitement
Watching my belly slowly swell
Then balloon beyond belief.
Impatient, I longed to peek inside
myself
To see the secret you,
Your sex, your skin, your forming
face
With x-ray eyes
In those pre-sonogram years.
Week by wondrous week
I felt you growing, strengthening,
As you poked me from within
With fidgety feet and fists.
Imagined a hundred scenarios
Of the you you were becoming.
Laid hands upon my rumbling stomach,
Prayed blessings
Penetrating pre-born you.
Then, arrived the day of
Tremulous wonder.
Contracting crescendos,
Long hours in a surrealistic haze
Climaxing in pushing, pushing,
pushing you out
Of my cozy womb into my waiting arms.
Labor blurred sweetly into joy’s
Highest measure. You emerged,
Perfect. Miraculous.
Then followed years of diverse labor
stages
So intense, childbirth’s memory
Paled into small inconsequential
aches,
And star spangled ecstasies
catapulted me
Far, far into glittery galaxies.
You’re adult now, on your own,
Still developing, discovering,
Dazzling, surprising,
Still nudging me
Within and without.
I still long to peek
Into places I cannot,
To know you even more
Than I know you,
And who knows you more?
That’s how it is for mothers.
That’s how it’s always been.
Umbilicals are only severed
In the physical sense.
Maude Carolan
